hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
