wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
