It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you will always have a special place in my vag
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
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