He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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