I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Come on in and take your pants off
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