She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
