I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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