So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
