then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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