we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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