He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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