My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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