Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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