You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
