You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
