are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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