just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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