Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We have started to decorate penises.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
