Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Help. Why am I so naked?
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