Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
