Sponge bath it is.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
