Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
