He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
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