Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
