then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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