haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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