yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
