i will never coherently bang her
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
