Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
