Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
