His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You are a genius and a whore.
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