I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
