yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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