that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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