I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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