Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
