This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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