Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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