Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
