my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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