Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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