it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
