you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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