Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
