everyone is single if you try hard enough
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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