I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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