You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
look no pants
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
