these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
drinking out of a sandbucket again
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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