return my video game
I think my vagina is haunted
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
