for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
