When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
