O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
