i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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