So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
my being single is dangerous.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We talked him into tasing himself.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I have tasted many bathrooms
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
