Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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