Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
