i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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