dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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